No responses yet – published on Jun, 13 2011 at 14:47 under Site.
I really could ask for forgiveness that I didn’t make a post in over three months but actually: Why should I? It’s after all my web residence and there was really nothing to share or no things I wanted to share. I could bore you with this thing called my life, but actually that didn’t work out that well the last times.
So let’s stick to the plan facts: life is disappointing in most things, even if the dimensions of disappointments I have been through lately top everything previously experienced. So please forgive me that I will not go through the process WHY I am disappointed once again, I have been down this road to often lately and it always left me angry (the near-to-explosion kind of angry – I would recite something with “overheated reactor” here, but that would be really tactless) and hollow at the same time (makes no sense, I know). But if I may I would recite another quote from my favorite book and movie that feels too true lately:
I feel… thin. Sort of stretched, like… butter scraped over too much bread. I need a holiday. A very long holiday. And I don’t expect I shall return. In fact I mean not to.
Holiday! Aye, that sounds so lovely right now. Just to leave all troubles far away for some time. Being gone and away to explore and all these funny, little things you ever dreamed of. A prospect to live another life (maybe a happier life – not that I am unhappy, I am just saying that not everything turned out that well lately, there are a lot of things and people I don’t want to miss in my life).
But, I guess here we are again, people screaming at me that I live my head in the clouds and that reality is sooo muuuch better. Really, you still believe that reality is better? Only because you find other means of not seeing how bad reality is in fact, how people destroy each other, how people don’t think twice as long as they get what they want? Call me dreamer or illusionist, but I don’t believe that people can long stand brutality of our world without some kind of distraction. Well, and my distraction is reading Fantasy books. I don’t fancy that all the worlds that are written up in these books are better, they have their own problems and often quite similar ones as ours, but it helps to change my scope and to have a short holiday without having to travel, even if traveling is always welcome but a total different experience.
Alas, now I see that this post became way too long. In fact, I didn’t want to complain again (and I did – damn me). To be honest, I often come to realization (and I have to tell myself from time to time) that my life as it is right now is quite comfortable and that I must be happy to be allowed to live such a life. I have a friend who really loves and accepts me (and my crazy, nerdy, geeky self alike), and a family I can rely on. Even if the last few weeks were consuming on a very personal level, I have seen in this time that there are people that are there for me to give me a helping hand if I should need it, as I would give all that I have to help them as well.








